im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
