Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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