omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
