A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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