Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
