After last night, I could never be a politician.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
