im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
