There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
