I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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