so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
