so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
