Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
