i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
