508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
