Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize