we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
