If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
