Well apparently he's into motor boating.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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