i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
