She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
