i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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