I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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