That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
