I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
