If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
