just come out here and I will go home with you...
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I want to make a zoo with you.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
