What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
