When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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