So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
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