Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
