btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
