so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
