i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
