How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
