She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
