That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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