We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
