Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
