So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
