Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
