There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
