Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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