have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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