She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
