Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
