looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
