it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Randomize
