Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
