Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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