I saw his package. It spoke to me.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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