do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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